


Just Friends?

by my_mad_fatuation



Series: Number One [3]
Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-07-14 07:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7160438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The threequel to Number One and Music is My Boyfriend, Rae and Finn deal with the media’s wild interpretations of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Friends?

“In an exclusive phone interview yesterday, TLM bass-player Finn Nelson claimed that he and fan/blogger Rae Earl are ‘just friends.’

“’We met after the Peterborough show,’ said Nelson. ‘I’d heard of her blog, so there was a mutual respect thing going. […] She was going to be in London, so I showed her around for a day. I consider her a good friend.’

“Two days ago, Earl posted on her blog that she and Nelson were ‘together’ and had been ‘dating’ since the Peterborough show. Nelson denied these claims in his interview, stating, ‘There is nothing romantic between Rae [Earl] and myself. I don’t know why she is saying this, but we are just friends.’

“Some readers of Earl’s blog have speculated that she has made up the rumours of their involvement herself to get attention and more blog followers. Some even suggest that she hired someone to photograph her and Nelson in London in order to substantiate her claim.”

Finn rubbed his eyes and re-read that last paragraph. That was some of the stupidest bullshit he’d ever heard. And how could someone claim to have had a telephone interview with him without him even knowing about it? That couldn’t be legal, could it?

He emailed his band’s publicist(‘s assistant) to ask if there was anything he could do to refute this bogus article. He got a response a couple of hours later.

Basically, Finn was told to play along. The story had been intentionally planted because being in a relationship with “someone like Miss Earl” could damage his image. (What the absolute fuck?)

He was also advised to try and be seen more with Lia Wells—he still had to insist there was nothing romantic between them either, but people should be wondering about them.

He called up Rae immediately but she didn’t answer her phone.

“Please answer,” he texted. “We need to talk.” He stared at his phone for a minute before adding, “That sounded ominous. I didn’t mean it like that. Please call me.”

Fortunately, she did call, but she sounded pissed.

“Look, I didn’t say those things,” he explained frantically. “It were all made up by our publicist without my knowledge. And he’s asked me to play along but I don’t want to and I won’t and I’m sorry this happened and—“

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” said Rae.

“What was?” He hoped she didn’t mean what he thought she meant.

“Us. Maybe we shouldn’t have—“

“Don’t say that, that’s ridiculous. It’s not our fault that everyone else is an idiot who buys into whatever crap they see on the Internet.”

“So, what, are we just supposed to pretend to be friends but date in secret? How would that even work?”

“That’s not what I want, Rae.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want to keep seein’ ya. And I don’t care who knows about it.”

“Even if you get hatemail for it? I’ve seen some of the things people have been tweeting at you.”

“I don’t care. Just, when can I see you again?”

***

Rae agreed to let Finn visit her in a couple of days—but in the meantime he had a band rehearsal.

“Welcome to the club,” said Archie as they set up their instruments.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Finn.

“I’m not allowed to talk about my relationships either.”

“Are you serious?”

“Why else d’you think the words ‘Archie’s a big queer’ haven’t been plastered all over tabloids yet? It’s brand management, Finn.”

“That’s bullshit though. It shouldn’t matter.”

“It shouldn’t. But it does.”

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to come out to the world yet, Arch, but I’m not trying to hide anything here.”

“It’s not about what I want. It’s about the band’s image.”

“Why do you give a crap about the band’s image?”

“Because this is my dream, Finn! I know you’re just here because you were bored and thought it would be a laugh, but we need to be serious about our careers now.”

“I am serious,” said Finn. “I’m serious about the music. I don’t see how my social life should affect that.”

“It’s a package deal.”

“Can we get practicin’ or what?” said Chop. “I’ve got a date tonight.”

“So you get to date but we don’t?”

“That’s because I’m with a different bird every night, unlike you poor sods.”

***

Finn didn’t want to be with a different “bird” every night; he just wanted to be with Rae. And he didn’t want to hide that.

“An article came out today,” he tweeted later that night, “lying about my relationship with Rae. Let me clarify: Rae and I ARE dating. That is a fact. Thanks. xo”

He knew he was going to get some flack for that, both from his fans and his publicist, but he just could not care. He was sick of being the person everyone expected him to be.

He talked to Rae the next day, who seemed pleased that he’d made that Twitter confession, even though he was sure she was getting some hate for it as well. He couldn’t wait to see her the following day.

But he still had to get through this day, and this day included a scheduled “impromptu” outing with Lia Wells. To be fair, he liked hanging out with Lia—they’d been friends since they were in school together back in Manchester—and she was always a laugh, but he hated that he had to hang out with her just for the publicity.

It was always weird being out with Lia because she had actual photographers following her around. It was probably why his publicist wanted him to go out with her, so they would definitely be seen together. Keep ‘em guessing, right?

“Your girlfriend is pretty cute,” Lia said to him over drinks.

“Back off, she’s taken,” he replied with a smirk.

“You always think I’m trying to steal your girlfriends. It only happened once. Get over it.”

“So, my personal life has been all over the Internet this week; what about you? What’s going on in Lia-Land?”

She laughed a little. “This is the first night I’ve been out later than seven in over a week, so not much going on for me at the moment.”

“Well, my last few dates have been via Skype, so cheers.” He held up his glass to hers. “We are the king and queen of terrible social lives.”

“Whatever you say, my queen.”

***

“Is Torchlight Monday’s Finn Nelson two-timing blogger Rae Earl?”

What fresh hell is this? Finn couldn’t believe it when he got back to his flat the next morning and checked his email. Rae had sent him a link to this article.

“Bass-player Finn Nelson recently admitted on Twitter that he is currently dating plus-size blogger Rae Earl, despite claiming they were ‘just friends’ in an interview the day before. He wrote that the article was ‘lying about [his] relationship with Rae [Earl]’ and that he and Earl are dating.

“Last night, Nelson was spotted in at a nightclub in London with actress Lia Wells. The two were seen leaving together and both heading in the direction of Wells’ apartment.

“The specific nature of Nelson’s involvement with either woman remains unclear.”

Did he have to fucking spell it out for them? He was dating Rae! Not Lia! How could he be clearer than that?

The article nagged at the back of his mind the whole train ride up to Stamford. But he talked to Rae about it on his trip and it wasn’t as though she believed the article. In fact, it was almost like she found it amusing. The way that they quoted his tweet on how they had lied about his interview was just absurd.

He hugged and kissed her when he got off the train and she smiled, but then got embarrassed and looked around to make sure no one was watching. (Or taking pictures.)

“I told ya, I don’t care who knows about us,” he said to her.

“Yeah, but this is a small town, and I don’t want my mum hearing about us snogging at the train station,” she said with a laugh.

“Where can we snog, then?”

She rolled her eyes and grabbed his bag off his shoulder. “Come on.”

He followed her to her car where she stuck his bag in the boot. She drove them up to a terraced house on a narrow, dead-end street. The man he assumed was her step-dad—she’d spoken about him before—came out and helped bring in Finn’s bag, even though Finn could have easily brought it in himself.

He met the rest of Rae’s family—her mother and little sister—and they ate dinner shortly afterwards before he and Rae headed to the pub where they joined up with Rae’s friends, Chloe and Izzy.

“You two were at the Peterborough show, right?” he asked them as everyone got introduced.

The girls nodded.

“You should have come over with Rae and said hi,” he said.

“Well, we didn’t want to bother you guys,” said Izzy.

“Nonsense! Look, next time you’re in London, you should come hang out with us. The guys are really laid back.”

“I can vouch for that,” said Rae.

“I guess we’ll just have to come down to London, then,” Chloe said with a smile.

It wasn’t all that late by the time Finn and Rae got back to her house, but her family was already asleep. There was a small stack of folded bedding sitting on the sofa when they got in.

“That’s not so subtle, is it?” Rae said with a laugh. “Look, you can take my room, if you want. It’s the second door on the left when you get upstairs.”

“Don’t be silly,” Finn replied.

“You’re the guest though—“

“Please, I don’t mind. Really.”

“Fine, I’m too tired to argue with you.” She headed towards the stairs before turning back to add, “You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen, and if you need me for anything just come up and get me because I turn my phone ringer off at night.”

“There is one thing I need, actually,” he said before she could leave. He gestured with his hand for her to come closer where he planted a kiss on her lips.

“Oi, behave yourself.” She pushed him away slightly. “There’s plenty of time for that when everyone’s out tomorrow.”

He raised his eyebrows at her and she smiled, making her nose scrunch a little, before heading up the stairs. They creaked noticeably as she made her way up.

***

Finn was woken in the morning by Rae’s little sister pouncing on his feet—apparently she liked to pretend she was a cat.

Her mum offered to make him breakfast before taking her youngest daughter to school, but he declined.

“Alright, love, well help yourself to anything if you feel like it,” she said.

Finn fell back asleep after everyone left for school and work and it was another hour before Rae came downstairs. She fixed them both some toast which they ate at the dining table before Finn went up to get a shower.

Before he could head back downstairs, however, he caught a glimpse into Rae’s bedroom, where she was sitting at her desk on her computer.

“So, this is your room?” he asked as he took a step inside. “I was expecting more band posters and stuff on the walls, to be honest.”

“Yeah, well, we just moved here two years ago and I only live here a few months of the year, so…”

“Oh, right.”

“You can sit down if you want,” she said. “I’ll only be a few minutes. Just looking through my email for submissions.”

He hesitantly stepped further into the room and sat on the bed beside the desk.

“This one’s pretty cool,” she added, turning her laptop so he could see the screen.

The image was a pencil drawing of the band performing, in which Finn was doubled over his bass in concentration. He liked the sketchiness of the lines; it made it seem like the image was alive and moving.

“And then I get crap like this after explicitly asking them not to do it.” She opened an image that was a kind of blurry zoomed-in photo of Archie leaving a Starbucks. “Delete,” she said.

“How many submissions do you get in a day?” he asked.

“It depends. After a show, I might get a few dozen, but most days just a handful. Today is fairly light.”

“None of us snogging on the train platform, then?”

“Thankfully, no.”

“I almost wish there were,” he said, leaning back on his hands. “Then maybe they would stop saying that the nature of our relationship remains ‘unclear.’”

“Well…”

“Well, what?”

“I mean, we haven’t really talked about…”

He waited for her to finish her thought.

“Are you seeing anyone else?” she finally asked.

“Are you?” He was a little taken aback.

“I asked you first.”

“I’m not… I’m not like that.”

“Oh. I just thought…you know.”

He shook his head like he didn’t know.

“You’re sort of like a rock star, and you’re a guy, so I figured you would—“

“Is that what you think of me? That I’m some sort of stereotype?”

“Relax there, buddy,” she replied, pushing back her chair. “You’re a straight, white, cis man, okay? I’m not oppressing you or anything. Here.” She picked up a pencil cup off her desk and dumped out the contents, shoving the cup towards him. “For your male tears.”

He gave her a sarcastic smile as he took the cup. “Thanks.” He set it back on her desk and added, “But you still never answered my question. Are you?”

“Yeah, I’m married, actually.”

“What?”

“Why on Earth would you believe that?” she laughed. “No, I’m not seeing anyone else.”

“Okay. Good.”

“Good.”

“So does this mean, we’re…exclusive?”

“Uh, sure, grandpa. I think the kids these days call it ‘going steady’ or ‘courting’ though.”

“Alright, shut up.” He leaned forward, lifting out of his seat slightly, and kissed her.

“Hold on, I just want to finish this post,” she said, pushing him away.

He sat back down. “Yeah, sure.”

He watched her open another email, though this one looked like it had a link instead of an image. The link took her to an article, which he couldn’t read from this angle.

“Unbelievable,” she muttered.

“What is it?”

“Apparently your wonderful publicist has been saying that you and I are just casually dating and that you are not ready to settle down with one person yet. Though he will not confirm or deny your involvement with Lia Wells.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, what is wrong with these people? Can’t they just leave us alone?” He ran his hand through his hair and scratched the back of his neck. “I hope you realize that me an’ Lia are actually just friends, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I figured,” she said with a laugh. “I’m guessing she’d be more into me than you anyway…”

He smiled a little. “She does think you’re pretty cute.”

“Really?” She looked far too pleased.

“Don’t get any ideas, now!”

“Just saying, if I was going to be with a woman… Either her or Cara Delevingne—I have a thing for eyebrows.” She winked at him and he felt himself go red.

She turned back to her computer and finished scheduling her blog post before shutting it down. “Alright, so what did you want to do today?” she asked him.

“Well, you said you were going to show me the sights,” he said.

“Yeah, I may have oversold that one.”

“What did you used to do around here for fun, then?”

“Go to the park and watch the boys play football with their shirts off.”

He wrinkled his nose. “I might pass on that one.”

***

Rae took Finn for a walk around town so he could take in the “sights” of Stamford, and they stopped for lunch at the local chippy where she and her friends used to hang out as teenagers.

“Now what?” he asked as they finished.

“Well, we’re going bowling with Chlo and Izzy tonight, but I didn’t really have any plans until then,” she said. “We could always check out the boys in the park…”

“Again, think I’ll pass.” He looked past Rae’s shoulder and spotted a couple of girls who’d been eyeing them for the past ten minutes. “Think they’re fans?”

Rae looked back over her shoulder for a minute then faced him again. “That or they just think you’re really hot.”

He smirked at her then looked back up. “Shit, they’re coming over,” he said through his teeth before grinning broadly.

“Sorry to bother you,” the first girl said, “but you’re not the bass-player for Torchlight Monday, are you?”

He nodded. “Yeah, hi, nice to meet you.”

“Oh my god! And you’re Rae who does the blog!” she said to Rae.

Rae looked stunned. “Um, yeah.”

“So are you two like a proper couple, then? Cause I keep reading contradictory things, but you know, you can’t believe everything you read online, right?”

“We are, yeah,” Finn said before chewing on the inside of his mouth.

“Aw, you guys are so cute together,” said the other girl. “We’re big fans of both of ya—but what are you doing in Lincolnshire of all places?”

“We’re just visiting some friends,” Rae said, not wanting to share that she was a local.

“Wow, well, I never expected to see either of you here!”

“Anyway, we should get going,” said the first girl. “Sorry to bother you, enjoy your lunch.”

“Yeah, you too,” said Rae. She turned back to Finn once they had left. “I’ve never been recognized by a fan of the blog before…”

“I recognized ya,” said Finn.

“Well, yeah, that was weird. But this was weirder, somehow.”

“Weirder than your celebrity crush asking you out?”

“Excuse me, you’re not my celebrity crush.”

“No?”

“It’s Alex Turner, duh.”

“Oh, so are you saying you’d dump me if he came along?”

“In less than a heartbeat.”

“Lovely.”

“Not that it would ever happen. Though I didn’t think this would happen either, so…” She pointed back and forth between the two of them.

“I’ll take him down if I have to—I always wanted to be in a band war.”

“Oh, honey,” she said patronizingly, shaking her head. “You’re not even a blip on their radar.”

“I thought we were your favourite band.”

“Y’are. Just, you’re not as big as The Arctic Monkeys now, are ya?”

“I’m more into The Last Shadow Puppets, meself—“

“Irrelevant.”

“Can I ask, how did you get into our music anyway? You’ve had the blog since before our so-called ‘breakthrough.’”

“I had an online friend who saw a show you played in Manchester just over a year ago and she sent me a link to your website with your demo on it and—“

“And you decided to dedicate a blog to us?”

“At first it was just a personal blog where I would share bands that people might not have heard of, but it just ended up mostly being about you lot since you were my favourite of the ones I would talk about. And then “To Be Continued” came out and people started flocking just for you, so I specialized.”

“Do you make money off it, or…?”

“No,” she said with a laugh. “It’s just for fun. Well, it was fun. It’s been a bit more of a chore lately, what with having to filter through all the shit I’m getting.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“You know, even the people who are supportive about us are driving me up the wall. They keep asking for ‘exclusive’ content.”

“What, like naked photos?”

“I think they mean a personal interview—they keep sending me questions to ask you.”

He shrugged. “I could do that.”

***

“Just remember,” Rae said as she sat at her desk, “you don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to.”

“Got it,” said Finn, sitting on her bed with a tripod-mounted camera pointed at him. “Ready.”

“Alright, first question: Are you guys working on a second album?”

“Should I…should I talk to you or the camera?” he said quietly.

“Whichever is more comfortable.”

“I think I’ll talk to you then. And, uh, to answer your question, we are working on some new songs, but right now we’re still focusing on performing—you know we’ve got a bunch of tour dates coming up across the UK at the end of the summer, so that’s exciting.”

“That ties into another question: Are you planning on doing an American tour?”

“Uh…” He smiled a little. “I’m not allowed to talk about that…”

“I’ll just cut that out, then.” She laughed a little. “Are you, though?”

He pursed his lips and shrugged.

“Okay, next question: Are you all really friends with each other in real life?”

“Who? Me ‘n’ the lads? Yeah. We went to school together when we were little, and we’ve been playing in bands with friends since we were fifteen. And we hang out all the time, so yeah, we’re actually friends.”

“Next one: What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you guys on stage?”

“Our experiences have been pretty tame, actually. There was one time that a woman got onstage somehow and went running at Chop, screaming something, but she was restrained by security. I don’t know if she thought he was someone else or what. We weren’t very well-known at the time.”

“What did he do?”

“He just kept playing—he’s a real pro, you know.”

Rae laughed. “Alright, next question: What’s your favourite pizza topping?”

“Black olives.”

“Ew.”

“Yeah, well.”

“Okay, some of these questions are a bit more personal, so I’m just going to skip those…”

“Like what?”

“Like, ‘boxers or briefs?’ Hah.”

He bit down on his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, I’m not answering that one.”

“I can just answer for you,” she said with a smirk.

“You haven’t…seen my underwear…?”

“Yeah, but I’ve… you know…”

His eyes went wide. “Don’t tell them that!”

“I won’t!”

“You just did!” he said, pointing at the camera.

“I’ll edit it out, relax.”

“Last question, and this is an important one: Is Rae really your girlfriend?”

“Does it really say that?”

She held up her laptop to show him.

“Alright,” he continued, now addressing the camera. “Yes, Rae is my girlfriend. Let that settle it.” He smiled at her. “C’m’ere.”

He held onto her hand and pulled her next to him on the bed so he could kiss her.

“I think I’ll just turn this off, now,” she said as she stopped the recording. “I don’t need to be that kind of famous, thank you very much.”

“What kind of famous is that?”

“You know.” She dismantled the tripod setup and put her camera on her desk. “Like sex tape famous.”

“Is that what’s happening now?” he teased.

She gave him a condescending smile. “Unfortunately we have to meet my friends for bowling soon.”

“Pity.”

***

Rae got the interview footage edited, uploaded and scheduled before she went to bed that night. Or so she told Finn the next morning when she drove him to the train station.

“Well, this was fun,” he said as he hugged her goodbye on the platform.

“Liar,” she said with a smirk.

“Hey, hanging out with you is always fun,” he replied. “Even in Stamford.”

“Does that mean you’d come back?”

“Of course.”

He kissed her before boarding the train, where he immediately went about checking his email that he had been neglecting since he got to Stamford. There was some spam, as to be expected, as well as a few forwarded fan letters, and one from Archie this morning that just said, “What were you thinking?” with a link to a YouTube video.

Finn put in his earbuds and clicked the link, which took him to a video uploaded by someone he didn’t know. But the video was clearly of himself—in fact, it was the interview that he had recorded with Rae. But this was not Rae’s channel.

He watched until the first time Rae said, “I’ll just cut that out,” and figured that, obviously, it hadn’t been cut out. He kept watching and realized that the entire interview was left intact, including the talk about his underwear and up until the kiss at the end. How did this person get ahold of it?

He sent a text to Rae asking what was going on and she called back a few minutes later once she was home.

“Okay, so, I’ve looked into it, and it turns out I accidentally uploaded the unedited version of the interview.” He heard her wince. “I’ve taken it down now, but someone already copied it and posted it again, as you saw.”

“How did you let this happen?”

“I’m sorry, it was an accident! Besides, it’s not that bad, is it?”

“But now people know that you’ve had your hand down my trousers—“ He stopped suddenly when he realized an elderly woman was glaring at him from across the aisle.

“That was only implied, and you can just say it was a joke, if it’s that big a deal,” said Rae on the other end of the line.

“Well, I’m sure my band’s publicist is trying to get the video down as we speak, so that should help, but it would have been better if the correct version had gone up in the first place.”

“I know that! It’s not like I did it on purpose!”

“I know, I know. Sorry. I just know I’m going to get such shit for this.” He glanced again at the elderly woman and smiled apologetically.

“Well, I’m already getting some hate. Don’t these people have anything better to do?”

“I’m sorry that you’re caught up in it.”

“It was my idea to do the interview in the first place.”

“No, it was their idea, and if they don’t like it, then fu—“ He winced as he caught himself from swearing. “Then that’s on them.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Ignore it and hope it goes away?” he suggested. “People will find something else to amuse themselves with soon enough.”

***

“Is music blogger Rae Earl pregnant with TLM bassist Finn Nelson’s baby?”

In the past several weeks, the rumours about Finn and Rae had been endless. This was one of the more outrageous ones. (At least they called her a “music blogger” instead of a “plus-size blogger.”)

Apparently someone had snapped a photo of them walking past a babyGap in London a few days ago, so the assumptions started flying about them having a baby together. (Of course.)

“My mum just asked me if I was pregnant,” Rae said to Finn via Skype. “This is getting ridiculous.”

“Well, are you?” he asked jokingly. (Though he was also mildly curious because it was all starting to get to his head.)

“Most definitely not,” she replied. “Though some people are sending me congratulations on my blog, which is kind of sweet, yet disturbing.”

“Yeah, well, the band mates are not letting me hear the end of this one. I guess the idea of me reproducing is just hilarious.”

“Also, babyGap? Seriously? Wouldn’t we shop somewhere cooler than that?”

“That’s what you’re upset about?”

“Not just that…but yeah, a little.”

“I’m really sorry about all of this,” he said.

“It’s not your fault.”

“It sort of is, though. I mean, if I were just some regular guy with a normal job or something, none of this would have happened to ya.”

“Do you think I’d be interested in ya if you had a normal job?” she teased.

“But I was going to quit the band for you.”

“Oh my god, are joking? Please don’t do that!”

“Yeah, I was joking,” he said with a laugh. “You are so gullible sometimes.”

“Well, you’re the one who believed me when I said I wasn’t pregnant.”

“What?”

It was her turn to laugh at him now.

“Alright, alright, enough with the jokes. What are we going to do about this latest shitstorm?”

“What are our options?” she said. “We deny it, and no one believes us. We lie and say it’s true and then adopt a baby in a few months to keep up the pretense. Or we break up and no longer have to deal with any of it.”

“You think they’d leave you alone just because we broke up? It’s too late, you’re in it now.”

“Oh, damn.” She smiled a bit. “But imagine how much money I’d get for a tell-all…”

“Until they realized I’m the most boring human on Earth and you’ve got nothing.”

“I would make stuff up. They do it anyway, so why can’t I?”

“That,” he said slowly, “is a good point…”

***

“Torchlight Monday bassist Finn Nelson was spotted yesterday in London getting friendly with two young women whose identities are yet unknown. Is Nelson having a three-way behind his pregnant girlfriend’s back?”

***

“Music blogger Rae Earl, girlfriend of TLM bass-player Finn Nelson, was seen gallivanting with Nelson’s band-mate and notorious womanizer, Arnold ‘Chop’ Peters, which begs the question, who’s really the father of Earl’s baby?”

***

“An eagle-eyed fan claims to have glimpsed Torchlight Monday’s Finn Nelson and girlfriend Rae Earl leaving Tiffany & Co. in London earlier this week. Could wedding bells be in the couple’s future?”

***

“You’re not trying to hint at anything, are you?” Finn said to Rae as they sat at the kitchen island in his flat reading the latest “news” about the two of them.

“I just thought it would be funny to start a rumour about us getting hitched right after spreading rumours about us cheating on each other,” Rae said, laughing. “Next I’m thinking of telling them that I’m not actually pregnant and that we were at babyGap because we’re planning on co-adopting a rescued chimp and dressing it in human clothes.”

“Just when I think things can’t get weirder.”

“Hey, it was your idea for me to start this fake Torchlight Monday news blog,” she replied. “Besides, I am making so much money on it that I can still go to school and keep running my real blog without having to get a job.”

“But a chimp? Really? What’s going to happen when I google myself now?” he whined.

“I dunno, maybe you could just stop googling yourself?”

“Never.”

“Then get ready, monkey boy,” she said, pulling the laptop towards herself so she could start typing. “You’re going to be in for a wild ride.”


End file.
